Wait! I'm not done!

I truly believe that there is a connection between writing and discovery. You'd never know this just by looking at the random dates on my blog posts, and if you could see my journal you'd just laugh! But I really do believe that as we write, our minds make connections between our experience and our thoughts, and we learn something. This connection is why writing is such an important part of education and, I dare say, self-discovery.

Well, I think that my last post stopped short of enlightenment!

I apologize to any of you that read it and came away feeling depressed. I mean, I re-read it, and felt a little depressed myself!

So I'm not done!

As I was thinking about that post this morning, I realized that most of my struggles with motherhood actually come from the exact issue I was talking about, and that is the problem of

COMPARISON.

dun dun dun!

That can be a pretty harsh word sometimes. Especially if it leaves us feeling like we are inadequate in some way just because we are different from another mom.

And I think, too, that we all handle motherhood differently. I have a friend who has twice as many kids as me, and she seems to just breeze through with little effort. She thrives in her environment. She's always put together, her house is clean, and it leaves me feeling inadequate when I compare myself to her.

I feel like I'm doing great if I can find clean shorts and a t-shirt! My floors need mopped, I have a pile of what-do-I-do-with-this on the floor in my bedroom, and I'm not going to get to any of it until I've written my paper on the connections between Freud's essay on The "Uncanny" and post World War I literature.

(I know, you're jealous.)

But where did I even get this notion that all moms have to be the same? Not a single person in this world is just like another, so why should moms be carbon copies?

How we do it is not near as important as actually doing it. So I'm going to stop comparing, right now, and just make sure my kiddos know how much I love them.

Who's with me?!

Missing my own mom...

Yesterday was May 1st.

This may not have much significance to a lot of people, but to me and my siblings, it's a hard day. I couldn't even bring myself to write this post yesterday, because the day is already emotionally charged.

It is the anniversary of my own mother's passing.

Now, it must be understood that I have the best parents in the world. I was especially close to my mom, however, and when she passed I had just entered the waters of motherhood myself.

It has been 14 whole years, but I miss her like it was yesterday.

I think another reason May 1st is so hard for me is that I find myself making comparisons between her mothering and mine. And, of course, I always fall short of the kind of mom she was, and the kind of mom I want to be.

So I add disappointment to grief, because that always helps. (wait, where's the sarcastic font???)

I have to constantly remind myself that I am not her, and my kids aren't exactly like her kids (not even the ME kid).

And I have to remind myself to just keep trying, to just keep moving forward, even if it feels like I'm getting nowhere.

So you fellow mothers, who struggle with feelings of inadequacy like I do, let's just keep on lovin' those babies of ours. Enough said.

Procrastination.... wahoo!

Yes, I have the song "Infatuation" by Rod Stewart going through my head right now. But doesn't the word "PROCRASTINATION" fit there so nicely?

We are now coming up on the last 2 weeks of classes. I have so many papers and projects coming due that I feel overwhelmed.

So I'm procrastinating! Because THAT always helps, right?

RIGHT?!?!

I know, I know. It's really not helping me at all. But taking a few minutes to ponder the nuances of such a powerful word is kinda helping me take a breather. It's only a few minutes, then I'll be back to the end of semester marathon that every student dreads!

By the way, while you're reading this post, you know that you're procrastinating something, too! So thanks for stopping by!

P.S. This is how I handle laundry, too! 

A little bit of permanence...

Look what WE did!!!

I don't know how it is for you, but sometimes I feel like all I do as a mom is laundry, clean, cook. Laundry, clean, cook. Laundry... well, you get the idea.

Nothing I do ever seems to stay DONE! Maybe because my kiddos' main goal in life is to UNDO everything that I DO do.

Do do?

Anyway, I think you get the idea, and I think I'm not alone in this. I need something that stays done PERMANENTLY. So, my husband and I tackled quite the project recently.

This is what our back yard looked like when we moved into our house...

You can't see the whole thing, but "dirt" about sums it up.
So last summer, we did a little work...

And it stayed just like that for about a year. But THIS year, we finished some things up...

It's green, it's peaceful... it's my oasis. I need some place like that to escape to when the house gets too LOUD!
It even looks pretty at night.

Getting outside and digging in the dirt actually relaxes me. I've always wanted to do more gardening, but we've either had so much space that I felt overwhelmed, or it was a more temporary situation so I felt less invested. Now I have my own little place to garden. My daughter just finished reading The Secret Garden, so now she wants a "secret garden" themed birthday party.

I think I can do that!

Sometimes my kids, especially the teenager, will go out back to get some alone time, too. I love that they can see the value in nature.

Now, what should my next perma-project be???

Spring Break!

Ahhhh... Spring Break!

That wonderful time of the school year, when the students in the family get a BREAK from all things academic! When I was in community college, my kids' spring break was usually the week after
mine, which made it impossible to travel. But since I moved to the UofA, our spring breaks coincide.
This year, we used that wonderful week to travel to New Orleans, Louisiana! My husbands parents are living there for the time being, so we got to see the city and visit family at the same time... BONUS!

We saw real live

ALLIGATORS...


SO COOL!
We also ate beignets at Cafe du Monde...

SO YUMMY! Don't let the teenager's appearance fool you!

We spent St. Patrick's Day in the French Quarter, and baby girl was completely diva-ed out...

I think this may be my favorite picture!

It was GREAT to get away with the family, Sometimes I think that's exactly what a family needs... to be a family in some other place, and leave the stresses at home. It can be hard, because for Mom (and to a degree, for Dad, too), it's really just taking your work with you. But it can still make such a difference to be able to focus on just having fun. That's something I need to do more with my monkeys.

Who wouldn't feel relaxed in a place like this?

I love being able to explore new places, and I really love doing it with my family. I know that these experiences are the ones that we'll all remember. Things come and go, but family and memories last forever. I'm grateful that we have these opportunities.

P.S. Isn't he adorable?

What are your favorite memories with your family?

Mom in School...

Motherhood is a busy occupation. We have so many roles.... care giver, cook, taxi driver, nurse, housekeeper, poop-cleaner-upper.... the list goes on and on!
But I guess it just wasn't busy enough, so this mom went back to school to finish her degree!

University of Arizona

I am an English major, pursuing a minor in Adolescents, Community, and Education (ACE). One of my classes this semester is Teaching with Technology, and one of my projects is a BLOG!

Well, there's nothing like a school project to get things moving along again!

Now, I have to admit that this class kicks my butt. I am, admittedly, technologically challenged! Thank goodness I have a husband that is capable and willing to help me out. The first week of class I had to get my own website up and running... and my poor husband put up with a lot to help me! I am happy to report, however, that I can actually update my web page all by myself now. That's real progress for me!

MY OWN WEB PAGE!

Just in case you're curious and want to check it out!

And if you do check it out, remember that it is a work in progress, and don't judge! But feel free to send me ideas or tips... this is all very new to me!

I went under!

Wow, did I ever go under!
But I am back now, with a new determination to use the blog the way I intended to. The good thing about "drowning" in motherhood is that you can always come back up, no matter how long you've been under. No mouth to mouth resuscitation is necessary... much to husband's chagrin! I'm ready to face the New Year with goals that will help me be a better mother. First and foremost is to be thankful for my children, and face my daily challenges with a better attitude.
Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!